Monday, September 5, 2011

Day 246 - Last Day.

Song of the day:  Ryan Cabrera - On The Way Down  ...this song was huge my first year in college (2004).  I'm sure I have it on about 27 mixed cd's that are somewhere in a box (at my parents house), but I may be making an Itunes purchase tonight...

Well, today was my last day of summer and my last day as a stay-at-home mom.  Tomorrow I'm back in school and Elliot's in daycare.  I'm a mix of emotions about how I feel about all of this.  I feel okay about sending Elliot to daycare.  In fact, I'm kind of excited for him to get to socialize with other kids and they have a great learning program in place.  I know he's going to have a great time.  Also, as much as I have loved being a stay-at-home mom, and would love to do it for each of our kids, it's not my life's calling.  I'm  going to miss being able to hang out with him every day and to see all the cute new thing he does, but it will be good for him.  Hopefully.  He was not excited about going to the nursery at church yesterday, so hopefully tomorrow goes better than that experience!

I'm excited to be back in school.  And I'm extremely nervous.  I just feel so out of my element.  I feel old.  One of my dad's fears is to be that old guy that just thinks he's cool.  I now have that fear.  Lets get one thing straight.  I'm not old.  I'm 24.  But, I'm 24, married, with a 15 month old and another baby on the way.  To most college kids I'm ancient, and mine as well be their parents age.  UW-Whitewater does seem to have a really good adult student outreach/support, but I don't know if any of those other adults will be in my classes.  Ugh.  I don't know why I'm so nervous.  I hope I'm able to sleep tonight, but I'm not sure if that will be possible.  In good news, I've gotten used to getting up at 7 and being ready by 7:45 when I need to get Elliot up, and we've both been completely ready by 8:30.  I think that after tomorrow I'll feel fine about everything.  (Again) Hopefully.

Besides being nervous, this weekend was super packed!  We spent almost all day Saturday figuring out which bed we were going to buy.  We shopped around like good consumers, and ended at the first place we went to.  We ended buying a Sealy Posturepedic King plush bed!  It's being delivered Friday and I can't wait!  Sunday we went to church, then spent the afternoon shopping for a comforter set and sheets.  With it being labor day weekend there was a ton of sales.  We went to quite a few stores and checked online, then ended up buying everything at Target.  This weekend I learned that shopping around is a good idea, but sometimes you know what you like, and should just stick with what you know.  

There are all of these side effects of pregnancy that I had with Elliot but had completely blocked out.  Whenever I describe what it was like to be pregnant with Elliot I say that it was completely normal, and easy, and I didn't even have morning sickness.  Yes, I didn't have morning sickness, and yes it was normal, but I felt terrible for the last few months.  I had really bad insomnia, exhaustion, terrible lower back pain, and my sinus's were always swollen and I could barely breath.  Also, with Elliot I got huge, but it was a different kind of weight gain.  I was in my regular pants until 25 weeks.  Granted, I probably should have gotten into the maternity pants sooner, but I was bent on not wearing them (I quickly learned how much more comfortable they were!).  I completely forgot how miserable I was for the last few months, and now looking back on it I remember complaining and Kyle asking me if I was sure I wanted to have more kids someday, lol.  You take one look at the adorable newborn in your arms who you love with an intensity that's impossible to really describe and completely forget the months that, well, sucked.  Right now I am a few hours shy of 15 weeks and am already experiencing insomnia, exhaustion, terrible lower back pain, and swollen sinus's.  To add insult to injury I am nauseous all day, but that has gotten a LOT better in the last week and a half or so.  I've also already been sporting the occasional pair of maternity pants for the last two weeks.  My hips have gotten wider quicker, or maybe maternity pants are just more comfortable... either way, I'm wearing 'em!  Are these just symptoms of a second pregnancy or maybe do the differences mean we'll be buying lots of pink?  I don't know, but either way, God Bless Kyle for being such a patient and amazing husband!  :)

...and now to attempt sleep...

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